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Peter J. Pizor, Ph.D. C.H. 
Creator of the Whole Brain 
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Creating peaceful preschoolers: how to avoid temper tantrums

My youngest child is three years old. After dinner, when it was time to pick up the toys and get ready to go to bed, he became frustrated and hit his mom. She said, "that's it. Turn it off now." As you might expect, he burst into tears and ran to me for comfort.

I told him the following story. Once upon a time there was a peer who lived in the woods then he was good friends with a dear. One day the pair hit the deer. Then I stopped and asked, "how do you suppose the deer felt?"

"The deer felt terrible."  

"So how do you suppose your mom felt?"

"she probably felt bad."

"So what do you think you should do?"

"I'm going to go give her a kiss." And then he ran over and gave her a hug, and said, "I am sorry."

When we are little, we learn about creating peace through modeling from our parents, from stories, and from observing the results of actions.

In my son's case, there was a war between different parts of his little brain. One part wanted to continue playing; perhaps in the hope of never having to go to sleep again. That was the part that struck out at his mom.

the whole scenario played out quite well, thanks in a large measure to a brilliant book by Daniel J Siegel, M.D. , and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. in simple language and with delightful illustrations they provide a dozen easy to implement strategies to help children grow to maturity with an integrated thinking process.

What is even more effective is that they are able to explain the high-powered concepts of contemporary neurophysiology in a language that any parent can use with any preschooler.

For example, instead of using the technical lingo they help make the brain understandable even to children. One of their examples is to divide the brain into an upstairs and downstairs segment. To our little ones, we can say, "that was the downstairs part of your brain working." Then, as they put it, "Engage, don't enrage" Instead, they recommend appealing to the "upstairs brain". 

Are you ready to be done with temper tantrums? Read this book, and introduce connected communications in your household.  You can find it online at

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